Hands Clean
by rachiru-rebonu
Summary: A little songfic that wouldn't leave me alone. This includes death and Yaoi.


1.1 This is a songfic. It is Yaoi. Also known as slash and homosexuality. That means Boy x Boy relationships.  
  
THIS IS ANGST. You Have Been Warned.  
  
1.2  
  
1.3  
  
1.4 Disclaimer: Digimon does not belong to me. I just use the characters for pleasure, not profit! Hands Clean belongs to Alanis Morrisette.  
  
1.5 The lyrics are in Italics.  
  
1.6 Thoughts are in *----*  
  
1.7  
  
1.8 Hands Clean  
  
By Ebony-moon2002  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened  
  
If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself  
  
If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful and  
  
If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much  
  
  
  
A hand gently, lovingly, caressed the knife that was placed by the sink. The hand turned the tap and slowly filled the sink with warm water, in preparation for what he felt he had to do.  
  
  
  
* I fell in love with you so easily. I trusted you because you were older. You were so smart, so sexy, so promising. I pushed you to your limits onstage. Because of me you became a big star. And I'm nothing anymore. *  
  
  
  
Ooh this could be messy  
  
But you don't seem to mind  
  
Ooh don't go telling everybody  
  
And overlook this supposed crime  
  
  
  
One hand rolled up the sleeves on the unfeeling body that they were attached to. The other hand traced a light pattern on the tanned skin with the knife, leaving behind light white marks on the otherwise perfect skin.  
  
  
  
* People thought that our relationship was wrong. I remember all the times we were threatened. You were always there for me. I thought your love for me was true. I thought that all the accusations meant nothing to you. And they didn't. I only realized that when you jumped in front of that car to save me. Why, Yama-chan? Why did you die for me? *  
  
  
  
We'll fast forward to a few years later  
  
And no one knows except the both of us  
  
And I have honored your request for silence  
  
And you've washed your hands clean of this  
  
  
  
* You broke it off a few days ago. You were scared. I loved you and look what you've reduced me to. I'm a horrible depressed wreck. My sister is going nuts trying to find out what's wrong with me, but I won't tell her. I won't tell anyone. Ever. It will follow me to my grave. I think about killing myself a lot. I miss you so much Yama-chan. I need you so much. *  
  
The hand holding the knife pressed deeper into the tan skin, causing blood to bead on the surface. It pulled the knife down the arm, leaving behind a long, unbroken blood-red trail down the muscular arm. It placed the arm into the warm water, staining it a beautiful light pink.  
  
  
  
What part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?  
  
What part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?  
  
What with this distance it seems so obvious?  
  
  
  
* You seemed to have forgotten about me, about our love as soon as you dumped me. I don't think I can live without you anymore. You left me so alone. But I remember all of our relationship. *  
  
  
  
The knife made a vicious stroke, drawing lots of blood and causing the boy to wince. Then he smiled. And he did it again.  
  
  
  
Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family  
  
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse  
  
I wish I could tell the world 'cause you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly  
  
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body  
  
  
  
* I love you. You are all I think about anymore. I wanted to marry you, but we never got around to it. We might be together in death. I hope so. *  
  
  
  
The boy plunged the knife deep into his bleeding arm. Stabbing it repeatedly.  
  
  
  
Ooh this could be messy and  
  
Ooh I don't seem to mind and  
  
Ooh don't go telling everybody  
  
And overlook this supposed crime  
  
  
  
*It was never a crime to me, Yama-chan.*  
  
  
  
We'll fast forward to a few years later  
  
No one knows except the both of us  
  
And I have honored your request for silence  
  
And you've washed your hands clean of this  
  
  
  
* I will be silent forever now, Yama-chan. Just like you are.*  
  
  
  
The boy slid down the wall to the bathroom floor, bleeding excessively from the self-inflicted wounds. He began to gasp and sputter, drawing in his last breaths.  
  
"Goodbye, Yama-chan. I never told anyone," said Daisuke Motomyia with his last shuddering breath. He coughed blood and collapsed on the bathroom floor, visions of his dead boyfriend in his head. He would go to join him in the next few seconds. 


End file.
